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I Hear You

Woman hiding

 

Cycles.  I’ve been noticing cycles.  And each cycle has a theme.  The one I’m in now, about to come out of (I hope), is feeling unheard and what to do about it.

 

I noticed other people’s cycles before I noticed my own, of course 🙄🙃.  The point of that though is, from where I’m sitting, we all go through the same cycles. 

 

Ya, your characters and settings are different, but those feelings are the same.

 

And for some reason, I think it must have been a learned behavior or maybe instinct, I don’t know, but for some reason at some point when someone told me they were in pain my emotions shut down, I scan them up and down and evaluate the significance of their pain based on my experiences.

 

WTF

 

I do it! And I know I do it!  

 

I don’t remember thinking as a child, “gee, they’re crying.  MUST FIND OUT WHY BEFORE I GO GET THEM A TISSUE!!”  

 

I think it’s learned.

 

So cycles.  My biggest frustrations in life have come from feeling unheard.

 

As a child and as an adult (I’m still waiting to feel like a grown up though... waiting...)

 

My daughter feels unheard sometimes. 

 

Tantrums are unacceptable.

Screaming and yelling are not ok.

Hitting/biting/kicking are not acceptable.

So what is?

 

When you’re not being heard.  When someone, anyone refuses to listen, then what?

 

Well, wars start.

 

Scaling that down a notch or two...

divorces, 

alienated teenagers, 

disgruntled toddlers.

 

And I honestly did not have an answer for how to deal with that BIG feeling.

 

I’m 31.

 

So exercise is a stress relief.

I am not going to hold all calls at night, mid fight, throw some workout clothes on (heeeeyyyy, I’m already in them #someofuslovebeingmillenials ) but my point is the same.

That does not work... for me.

 

Yoga, breathing, crystals...

I’ll let you know, so far so good.

 

Also, 

I pick my times strategically.

I require reflective listening and reciprocate.

And I still loose it, sometimes (I’m Italian, it’s 👍🏽not👍🏽* my fault) but I’m trying.  

 

 

And while I’m busy not being heard I’m definitely not listening to my friends and family members frustrations.

 

Cycles, we’re all in them.  Maybe yours happened or is happening or will happen at a different time than mine but I have no doubt, you’ll feel them too.

 

It’s time to take care of you too.

 

* -  👍🏽” removes the word “not”